How-to guides and other
ridiculous
automotive
thoughts
Stories from the garage and the gut.
A personal and often ridiculous lens on someone’s view of the car world.
It’s shaped into part memoir, part road trip reflections, part garage-floor confessional, and part useful guides so you can get the job done.
GO DRIVE
〰️ NOTHING BEATS THE REAL THING 〰️
GO DRIVE 〰️ NOTHING BEATS THE REAL THING 〰️
Opinions & Stories
Somewhere around the fourth or fifth hairpin, I said the name out loud to nobody. Umunhum. Hell of a name. What even is that?
When you whore out your hobby, you stop being a maker and start being a marketer. Marketers are the worst. Trust me. I’ve been one since 2014, starting in content and SEO and graduating into the rest of it: ads, email, social, the whole digital buffet. Marketers ruined the telephone with telemarketing. They ruined email with email marketing, roads with billboards, and television and social media with ads. The list goes on. I know the playbook because I’ve run it many times, and even added to a few chapters.
There’s so much good in the world but now so little to none of it is happening on these attention-sucking machines (apps) we’re the product.
BMW
A sourced BMW N55 torque-spec reference for common engine maintenance and DIY work. Covers oil service, spark plugs, valve cover, oil-filter-housing gasket, intake and fuel-system hardware, and key Valvetronic fasteners, with application notes and linked technical sources.
A sourced BMW F30, F31 and F34 torque-spec reference for common maintenance and DIY jobs. Covers wheel bolts, oil service, N20/N26 and N55 engine work, standard and M Sport brakes, suspension, xDrive axle hardware and more, with application notes and linked sources.
BMW E90, E91, E92 and E93 torque specs for wheels, oil service, spark plugs, brakes, suspension and common DIY jobs, with Nm and ft-lb values, application notes and linked sources.
Porsche
Complete Porsche PDK repair guide for 997.2, 987.2, 991.1, and 981 owners. Learn common PDK fault codes, distance sensor failures, valve body repairs, pressure sensors, fluid service, and PIWIS calibration before replacing the transmission.
Every prospective 996 buyer eventually has the conversation. Sometimes it comes from a well-meaning acquaintance who once heard something about Porsches and engines. Sometimes it's the third Rennlist thread you've read at midnight before putting in an offer. Sometimes it's a PPI report with a paragraph that starts "the IMS bearing..." and suddenly the whole deal feels different.
Stock Porsche brake pads are engineered for average use — and that means they're a compromise. If you're driving a 986 Boxster or 987 Boxster/Cayman with any enthusiasm, or planning even one track day, you owe it to yourself to upgrade. The good news: the 986/987 brake platform is well-supported by every major pad manufacturer, and the community consensus on what works is very clear.